i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
