The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
