that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
