nut hugger
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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