just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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