hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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