go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
