you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
