You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Acid is not a monday night drug
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
