My brain says no but my pants say off.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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