I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
