Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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