So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
