How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
