i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
