This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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