I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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