i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
