Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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