Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm like, not good at living.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
