we have officially lost it.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
