I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
