He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
