Please, let me fuck your mom
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
