sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
