I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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