I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
