i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
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