dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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