hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
