i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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