Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
