I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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