He had one of those small greek statue penises
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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