Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
