i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
