She said her name was "party"
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
