hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
