They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
