I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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