somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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