Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
