You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
