u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My Higher Power is John Stamos
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
