It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
