Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
