i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
