You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
