I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
