I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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