No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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