Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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