But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
