I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
