He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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